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Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Tue Jun 05, 2018 7:34 am

I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by MG on Tue Jun 05, 2018 11:17 am

I agree about eating around a table. It's how I was brought up and it's what I do with family, friends, niece etc. Some days it can be the only time you get to relax and talk. I understand snacks in front of the tv or something special but not too often.

I agree giving a kindle or things like at such a young age is probably not great unless it's very much controlled.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Tue Jun 05, 2018 1:13 pm

MG wrote:I agree about eating around a table. It's how I was brought up and it's what I do with family, friends, niece etc. Some days it can be the only time you get to relax and talk.  I understand snacks in front of the tv or something special but not too often.

I agree giving a kindle or things like at such a young age is probably not great unless it's very much controlled.

I would maybe give mine one if they had been around then. But I would read the books WITH them and watch the videos WITH them.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by jp762 on Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:27 pm

The balance between 'me' time for the parents and looking after their children may have gone too far towards 'me' time now. It takes a lot of time to bring up and nurture well mannered decent children. Sometime in life at least for a while you can't have your cake and eat it.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Tue Jun 05, 2018 5:29 pm

jp762 wrote:The balance between 'me' time for the parents and looking after their children may have gone too far towards 'me' time now. It takes a lot of time to bring up and nurture well mannered decent children. Sometime in life at least for a while you can't have your cake and eat it.

You could even enjoy your children. Radical, I know. I spent some of the happiest times of my entire life bringing up my two. They were sheer and utter entertainment. I missed them so much when I was at my work - and I job shared for 12 years.

I think I would say that to some modern parents. Enjoy it. You'll regret it if you don't.

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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by jp762 on Tue Jun 05, 2018 5:39 pm

Claire wrote:
jp762 wrote:The balance between 'me' time for the parents and looking after their children may have gone too far towards 'me' time now. It takes a lot of time to bring up and nurture well mannered decent children. Sometime in life at least for a while you can't have your cake and eat it.

You could even enjoy your children. Radical, I know. I spent some of the happiest times of my entire life bringing up my two. They were sheer and utter entertainment. I missed them so much when I was at my work - and I job shared for 12 years.

I think I would say that to some modern parents. Enjoy it. You'll regret it if you don't.

Indeed.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Kizzie on Wed Jun 06, 2018 1:00 pm

I think tablets for kids are great BUT only for times that you need to be doing other things. They should be used for long car journeys ( oh if only they had them and DVDs when mine were young) or when you are very busy with something that NEEDS to be done.

When I take the girls to gymnastics they have different classes. so a tablet is handy to keep them occupied. I do take books and other toys to play with them or read to them but I at the same time like to watch the other do their gymnastics and I cant do that with a child who is bored.

I am amazed at how many parents sit on their phones while at soft play and take no notice of their child.children.

Also, many don't clear up after them or get them to clear up.. For me, that is another no-no as a parent.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Wed Jun 06, 2018 1:37 pm

Kizzie wrote:I think tablets for kids are great BUT only for times that you need to be doing other things.   They should be used for long car journeys ( oh if only they had them and DVDs when mine were young)  or when you are very busy with something that NEEDS to be done.

When I take the girls to gymnastics they have different classes. so a tablet is handy to keep them occupied. I do take books and other toys to play with them or read to them but I at the same time like to watch the other do their gymnastics and I cant do that with a child who is bored.  

I am amazed at how many parents sit on their phones while at soft play and take no notice of their child.children.  

Also, many don't clear up after them or get them to clear up..  For me, that is another no-no as a parent.  


I hate to see a mum with a toddler in a buggy reading her phone.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by xtras on Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:20 pm

Claire wrote:I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?

Children are losing their thinking skills with these gadgets. Ok for a short time  but it becomes the babysitter when mum or dad are too tired to interact with the child. See it so often.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by MG on Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:56 pm

xtras wrote:
Claire wrote:I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?

Children are losing their thinking skills with these gadgets. Ok for a short time  but it becomes the babysitter when mum or dad are too tired to interact with the child. See it so often.

I agree with this, X. I wonder how the stats for reading and comprehension skills are for those in the early years in comparison to say fifteen years ago?
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:13 am

MG wrote:
xtras wrote:
Claire wrote:I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?

Children are losing their thinking skills with these gadgets. Ok for a short time  but it becomes the babysitter when mum or dad are too tired to interact with the child. See it so often.

I agree with this, X. I wonder how the stats for reading and comprehension skills are for those in the early years in comparison to say fifteen years ago?

Both my boys got As for Higher English - I did too as did their Dad. I honestly believe that it's because we read to them from the day they were born. My family on both sides are all massive readers and we all got great results for our exams.

My eldest son has just finished first in his year at Glasgow Uni - he's doing Philosophy, Theology and Education. The wee one is working full time and got 93% for his first open Uni assignment. He was first in his year for his HNC accounts (didn't sit his highers as he was very ill but got an A for English anyway due to his course work).

I put it all down to reading to them, chatting to them (even in their buggies) and playing with them.

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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by SF on Tue Jun 19, 2018 1:37 pm

Claire wrote:I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?

I think any parent with a bit of sense will realise that technology has become part of a child's world, but that interacting with their kids is as important as it's ever been.

Then you have to wonder what kind of example adults are setting, glued to iphones, internet forums and so on.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Tue Jun 19, 2018 4:26 pm

SF wrote:
Claire wrote:I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?

I think any parent with a bit of sense will realise that technology has become part of a child's world, but that interacting with their kids is as important as it's ever been.

Then you have to wonder what kind of example adults are setting, glued to iphones, internet forums and so on.

I agree with you. We got a PC when our oldest was in P2, so 1997. But it was a family thing. We had it in our living room! Now, as a family, we all have lap tops, pcs, tablets and kindles. We also all have tellys and sky multi room.

The only thing we watch together is the football or the odd film.

However, because I brought mine up before technology was part of all our lives, we still try eat together at least three times a week and we chat a lot.

It must be hard for young parents to interact with their children as much as we did. It was the norm for us all to be to together most of the time.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by SF on Tue Jun 19, 2018 5:29 pm

Claire wrote:
SF wrote:
Claire wrote:I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?

I think any parent with a bit of sense will realise that technology has become part of a child's world, but that interacting with their kids is as important as it's ever been.

Then you have to wonder what kind of example adults are setting, glued to iphones, internet forums and so on.

I agree with you. We got a PC when our oldest was in P2, so 1997. But it was a family thing. We had it in our living room! Now, as a family, we all have lap tops, pcs, tablets and kindles. We also all have tellys and sky multi room.

The only thing we watch together is the football or the odd film.

However, because I brought mine up before technology was part of all our lives, we still try eat together at least three times a week and we chat a lot.

It must be hard for young parents to interact with their children as much as we did. It was the norm for us all to be to together most of the time.

I'm in a similar boat, my son and daughter were born in the 1990s when technology hadn't taken over and there was just the PC, the TV and a stereo system to worry about - and I was the technology king of the house, I knew how it all worked, which cable went where and which buttons did what.

I think it was smart phones becoming mainstream that changed things. The designers were clever - even kids could understand them and of course wanted one - so they have a portable phone, music system and internet thingy all in one tiny package they can put in a pocket, or hide away in their room to use. And I ain't the technology king any more, I've lost my crown to the kids.

I agree about the importance of sitting and talking - it's part of helping the children to speak out and air their views and develop as people. Even so, it's tricky when they become teenagers, there's a lot they don't want to be open about with their parents. But you can usually tell when they're hiding something.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Tue Jun 19, 2018 5:42 pm

SF wrote:
Claire wrote:
SF wrote:
Claire wrote:I have a couple of examples of things I don't understand about modern parenting.

1) A child I know (whose 3) has a kindle and he watches it while eating. When my boys were small, we all ate together at the table and chatted.

2) My friend's son took his GF and her wee girl to Blair Drummond Safari Park at the weekend becuse she loves animals. It turned out that she actually loves PICTURES and VIDEOS of animals.

Do you think technology has meant that parents think giving a tablet or a phone to a child is the same as chatting with them, reading to them or playing with them?

I think any parent with a bit of sense will realise that technology has become part of a child's world, but that interacting with their kids is as important as it's ever been.

Then you have to wonder what kind of example adults are setting, glued to iphones, internet forums and so on.

I agree with you. We got a PC when our oldest was in P2, so 1997. But it was a family thing. We had it in our living room! Now, as a family, we all have lap tops, pcs, tablets and kindles. We also all have tellys and sky multi room.

The only thing we watch together is the football or the odd film.

However, because I brought mine up before technology was part of all our lives, we still try eat together at least three times a week and we chat a lot.

It must be hard for young parents to interact with their children as much as we did. It was the norm for us all to be to together most of the time.

I'm in a similar boat, my son and daughter were born in the 1990s when technology hadn't taken over and there was just the PC, the TV and a stereo system to  worry about - and I was the technology king of the house, I knew how it all worked, which cable went where and which buttons did what.

I think it was smart phones becoming mainstream that changed things. The designers were clever - even kids could understand them and of course wanted one - so they have a portable phone, music system and internet thingy all in one tiny package they can put in a pocket, or hide away in their room to use. And I ain't the technology king any more, I've lost my crown to the kids.

I agree about the importance of sitting and talking - it's part of helping the children to speak out and air their views and develop as people. Even so, it's tricky when they become teenagers, there's a lot they don't want to be open about with their parents. But you can usually tell when they're hiding something.

We're like parenting twins!

Bib, Don't you think that we know them so well, we can tell they're hiding something? That's what worries me a bit for todays parents - the way technology has gone, they don't know their children.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Aqua on Tue Jun 19, 2018 5:50 pm

I  was in a cafe recently, when a young couple with two children came in, one looked about 3, the other one in a pushchair looked about 12-18months'ish. The guy went up to order, and came and sat down. Instantly both adults got out their phones. They had their order of drinks brought to the table, and they'd ordered coffees for themselves, but nothing for the children. They never focused on the kids the whole time they were in there. Despite the toddler constantly ask for a drink by shouting "Dink, dink", and the one in the pushchair launching everything out of it to obviously get a bit of attention. All they did was sit looking at their phones. Not a word was uttered. Neither child could speak coherently for their age.

After a few more "Dink" protests it became too much for me to ignore any longer. I had to say something. Poor little mites.

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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Tue Jun 19, 2018 5:55 pm

Aqua wrote:I  was in a cafe recently, when a young couple with two children came in, one looked about 3, the other one in a pushchair looked about 12-18months'ish. The guy went up to order, and came and sat down. Instantly both adults got out their phones. They had their order of drinks brought to the table, and they'd ordered coffees for themselves, but nothing for the children. They never focused on the kids the whole time they were in there. Despite the toddler constantly ask for a drink by shouting "Dink, dink", and the one in the pushchair launching everything out of it to obviously get a bit of attention. All they did was sit looking at their phones. Not a word was uttered. Neither child could speak coherently for their age.

After a few more "Dink" protests it became too much for me to ignore any longer. I had to say something. Poor little mites.

What did you say?
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Aqua on Tue Jun 19, 2018 6:33 pm

Claire wrote:
Aqua wrote:I  was in a cafe recently, when a young couple with two children came in, one looked about 3, the other one in a pushchair looked about 12-18months'ish. The guy went up to order, and came and sat down. Instantly both adults got out their phones. They had their order of drinks brought to the table, and they'd ordered coffees for themselves, but nothing for the children. They never focused on the kids the whole time they were in there. Despite the toddler constantly ask for a drink by shouting "Dink, dink", and the one in the pushchair launching everything out of it to obviously get a bit of attention. All they did was sit looking at their phones. Not a word was uttered. Neither child could speak coherently for their age.

After a few more "Dink" protests it became too much for me to ignore any longer. I had to say something. Poor little mites.

What did you say?


I turned around and said "Excuse me, are you enjoying your coffee" The guy looked up and said "Yeah, we love Lavazza" I said "Well that's good you're enjoying them, and no doubt the kiddies would have enjoyed a drink whilst you drank yours. They didn't get one it seems. The fact they've both been trying to get your attention that they'd like one for quite some time it seems, a fact, you'd both be aware of that if you weren't both so engrossed in your phones"

He got up and got them a Fruitshoot.

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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:45 pm

Aqua wrote:
Claire wrote:
Aqua wrote:I  was in a cafe recently, when a young couple with two children came in, one looked about 3, the other one in a pushchair looked about 12-18months'ish. The guy went up to order, and came and sat down. Instantly both adults got out their phones. They had their order of drinks brought to the table, and they'd ordered coffees for themselves, but nothing for the children. They never focused on the kids the whole time they were in there. Despite the toddler constantly ask for a drink by shouting "Dink, dink", and the one in the pushchair launching everything out of it to obviously get a bit of attention. All they did was sit looking at their phones. Not a word was uttered. Neither child could speak coherently for their age.

After a few more "Dink" protests it became too much for me to ignore any longer. I had to say something. Poor little mites.

What did you say?


I turned around and said "Excuse me, are you enjoying your coffee" The guy looked up and said "Yeah, we love Lavazza" I said "Well that's good you're enjoying them, and no doubt the kiddies would have enjoyed a drink whilst you drank yours. They didn't get one it seems. The fact they've both been trying to get your attention that they'd like one for quite some time it seems, a fact, you'd both be aware of that if you weren't both so engrossed in your phones"

He got up and got them a Fruitshoot.

cheers I don't think I would have been brave enough to say all that. You're a champ. sunny
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Aqua on Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:57 pm

Claire wrote:
Aqua wrote:
Claire wrote:
Aqua wrote:I  was in a cafe recently, when a young couple with two children came in, one looked about 3, the other one in a pushchair looked about 12-18months'ish. The guy went up to order, and came and sat down. Instantly both adults got out their phones. They had their order of drinks brought to the table, and they'd ordered coffees for themselves, but nothing for the children. They never focused on the kids the whole time they were in there. Despite the toddler constantly ask for a drink by shouting "Dink, dink", and the one in the pushchair launching everything out of it to obviously get a bit of attention. All they did was sit looking at their phones. Not a word was uttered. Neither child could speak coherently for their age.

After a few more "Dink" protests it became too much for me to ignore any longer. I had to say something. Poor little mites.

What did you say?


I turned around and said "Excuse me, are you enjoying your coffee" The guy looked up and said "Yeah, we love Lavazza" I said "Well that's good you're enjoying them, and no doubt the kiddies would have enjoyed a drink whilst you drank yours. They didn't get one it seems. The fact they've both been trying to get your attention that they'd like one for quite some time it seems, a fact, you'd both be aware of that if you weren't both so engrossed in your phones"

He got up and got them a Fruitshoot.

cheers I don't think I would have been brave enough to say all that. You're a champ. sunny

Takes an awful lot to make me annoyed or angry, but when someone does manage to, I have my say. lol!

It just seemed really cruel to sit there drinking their drinks, and ignoring their children, who wanted one too. Mad

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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Odessa Steps on Wed Jun 20, 2018 9:41 pm

No tablets at the table... it simply isn't done. All the various ports get stuffed with mashed spud and tables are enough of a height to smash them in a fall
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Star on Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:37 pm

When my son comes home for a visit, and we are eating at the table,
We are having a conversation with him and he looks down because he
Has received a message. I always say leave it till after tea.
But it’s like it’s part of their bodies. He always says it’s important, could be a client trying to get in touch about work. I say well he will still be there when you have finished.
I hid it once when he fell asleep on the settee and you would of thought I had caused world war 3 Laughing
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Geraldine on Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:54 pm

We all eat together and no phones/laptops allowed at the dinner table. Otherwise I am pretty easy going on the girls regarding their gadgets now they are older. Time was restricted when younger and I do miss reading them a bedtime story now they are teenagers. That was always my time with them. The wife wold bathe them and dry their hair then I would read to them.
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by beckham on Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:50 am

teaching kids manners is vital and table manners too. A polite child is a delight
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Re: Modern Parenting

Post by Claire on Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:57 am

beckham wrote:teaching kids manners is vital and table manners too.  A polite child is a delight

Agreed. Beckham, do you want a colour for your name?
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