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Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:19 am

I don't really like it, I find it cringemaking but other people do so each to their own.

However, why do some men think it's ok for them and not female FMs?

Why, eg, does NN get criticised for making a sexual joke?

Also, does it depend on the FM? Why is it ok for Dean and not for Keyser?
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Aqua on Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:07 pm

I think it's all down to the individual. It's not something that I tend to engage in, but it's each to their own. Sometimes when you see overtly sexual banter, it can be cringeworthy. I think you have to have like minded candidates too. It often highlights double standards, as I've always said if people give it out, be prepared to get it back.
It is quite funny when you see men getting all bolshie at a woman giving back as good as she gets banterwise. That's when you see the derogatory comments  start to surface.
The major problem is that today's friend on forums, can quickly becomes tomorrows enemy. And then it all goes sour. The fall outs are rife then Laughing

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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:21 pm

Aqua wrote:I think it's all down to the individual. It's not something that I tend to engage in, but it's each to their own. Sometimes when you see overtly sexual banter, it can be cringeworthy. I think you have to have like minded candidates too. It often highlights double standards, as I've always said if people give it out, be prepared to get it back.
It is quite funny when you see men getting all bolshie at a woman giving back as good as she gets banterwise. That's when you see the derogatory comments  start to surface.
The major problem is that today's friend on forums, can quickly becomes tomorrows enemy. And then it all goes sour. The fall outs are rife then Laughing

Rife and highly entertaining lol!
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Aqua on Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:24 pm

Claire wrote:
Aqua wrote:I think it's all down to the individual. It's not something that I tend to engage in, but it's each to their own. Sometimes when you see overtly sexual banter, it can be cringeworthy. I think you have to have like minded candidates too. It often highlights double standards, as I've always said if people give it out, be prepared to get it back.
It is quite funny when you see men getting all bolshie at a woman giving back as good as she gets banterwise. That's when you see the derogatory comments  start to surface.
The major problem is that today's friend on forums, can quickly becomes tomorrows enemy. And then it all goes sour. The fall outs are rife then Laughing

Rife and highly entertaining lol!


I know! lol!

Sometimes you read some exchanges with a cringing expression, or mouth hanging open thinking OMG! Laughing

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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:26 pm

Aqua wrote:
Claire wrote:
Aqua wrote:I think it's all down to the individual. It's not something that I tend to engage in, but it's each to their own. Sometimes when you see overtly sexual banter, it can be cringeworthy. I think you have to have like minded candidates too. It often highlights double standards, as I've always said if people give it out, be prepared to get it back.
It is quite funny when you see men getting all bolshie at a woman giving back as good as she gets banterwise. That's when you see the derogatory comments  start to surface.
The major problem is that today's friend on forums, can quickly becomes tomorrows enemy. And then it all goes sour. The fall outs are rife then Laughing

Rife and highly entertaining lol!


I know! lol!

Sometimes you read some exchanges with a cringing expression, or mouth hanging open thinking OMG! Laughing

OMG, then CRINGE!
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by MG on Mon Jun 18, 2018 5:03 pm

I've got a married friend whose husband is all about the bantz, for instance after opening a bottle of wine he will do a fake leer and say 'anything else you want opening?' Me and her just roll our eyes. We know he doesn't mean it. I wouldn't banter back though as she's my friend.

In short I don't know why one can be deemed harmless and another not. It's purely a feeling.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by NN on Mon Jun 18, 2018 5:04 pm

I have a sense of humour that verges on the obscene. I feel comfortable with filth, but it has to be a kind of take the piss. I’m most comfortable when I’m ripping the shit out of myself.
I’m not over comfortable with flirty banter though.

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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Mon Jun 18, 2018 5:12 pm

MG wrote:I've got a married friend whose husband is all about the bantz, for instance after opening a bottle of wine he will do a fake leer and say 'anything else you want opening?' Me and her just roll our eyes. We know he doesn't mean it. I wouldn't banter back though as she's my friend.

In short I don't know why one can be deemed harmless and another not. It's purely a feeling.

I used to be pals with a guy at work  and he was one of those guys where everything had a double meaning. A bit Benny Hill/Kenny Everett kind of thing.

I would just laugh at him or ignore him. One night me and Mr C were out with our best pals and he was in the pub on his own so I asked him to sit with us.

Within 10 minutes the other three wanted to leave. Very Happy
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Mon Jun 18, 2018 5:13 pm

I actually find Keyser quite sleezy.

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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by jp762 on Mon Jun 18, 2018 5:52 pm

Claire wrote:I don't really like it, I find it cringemaking but other people do so each to their own.

However, why do some men think it's ok for them and not female FMs?

Why, eg, does NN get criticised for making a sexual joke?

Also, does it depend on the FM? Why is it ok for Dean and not for Keyser?
The Keyser bit is the most key bit.

A vomit if Keyser says something lewd from Hobbit will come. If Dean says the same kind of things, the sickly flirting commences. I'm of course not saying that Hobbit should flirt with Keyser. Keyser however has as much right as Dean and anyone else to say something 'lewd' as banter. What peoples views are on the 'banter' obviously will vary though.

What I don't like though is the use of the vomit emoji in Keyser's direction she should just ignore him. Using the emoji in that way is rude and nasty imo.

Double Standards are rife on Dogs.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by xtras on Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:22 pm

MG wrote:I've got a married friend whose husband is all about the bantz, for instance after opening a bottle of wine he will do a fake leer and say 'anything else you want opening?' Me and her just roll our eyes. We know he doesn't mean it. I wouldn't banter back though as she's my friend.

In short I don't know why one can be deemed harmless and another not. It's purely a feeling.

I would have said yes the door  &  close it behind You! Ewww

Forum banter is great it's just fun.????
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by MG on Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:25 pm

xtras wrote:
MG wrote:I've got a married friend whose husband is all about the bantz, for instance after opening a bottle of wine he will do a fake leer and say 'anything else you want opening?' Me and her just roll our eyes. We know he doesn't mean it. I wouldn't banter back though as she's my friend.

In short I don't know why one can be deemed harmless and another not. It's purely a feeling.

I would have said yes the door   &  close it behind You! Ewww

Forum banter is great it's just fun.????

Thing is when he does it he doesn't particularly sound sleazy. But it can be fun.

Claire, re Keyser, I like him well enough when he is being a regular poster but when the double ents start I kind of die inside for him and ignore.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:54 pm

MG wrote:
xtras wrote:
MG wrote:I've got a married friend whose husband is all about the bantz, for instance after opening a bottle of wine he will do a fake leer and say 'anything else you want opening?' Me and her just roll our eyes. We know he doesn't mean it. I wouldn't banter back though as she's my friend.

In short I don't know why one can be deemed harmless and another not. It's purely a feeling.

I would have said yes the door   &  close it behind You! Ewww

Forum banter is great it's just fun.????

Thing is when he does it he doesn't particularly sound sleazy. But it can be fun.

Claire, re Keyser, I like him well enough when he is being a regular poster but when the double ents start I kind of die inside for him and ignore.

Ditto re Keys.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by NN on Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:53 pm

Keyser got a bit much for me at one point. His humour is similar but different to mine, and I find myself a bit unsure of how to reply. Although it was Charlie and Keys as a double act that made retreat. I’d have a back and forth with Keys and then later Charlie would come dropping some snide bombs in my direction, I’d ask what she meant and she’d apologise and excuse it.

I like them both. But I think they are troubled, and I sensed being a piggy in the middle-y and thought it best to pull out.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Star on Tue Jun 19, 2018 7:48 am

Keyser is ok and quite harmless. Most of his flirty stuff is to wind certain members up. Charlie acts that way, because she has made a
claim for Keyser. Typical jealous girlfriend syndrome.

I don’t mind a little flirtyness, when it’s in fun and banter. But when
it is full on it become creepy and weird.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Kizzie on Tue Jun 19, 2018 9:21 am

Star wrote:Keyser is ok and quite harmless. Most of his flirty stuff is to wind certain members up. Charlie acts that way, because she has made a
claim for Keyser. Typical jealous girlfriend syndrome.

I don’t mind a little flirtyness, when it’s in fun and banter. But when
it is full on it become creepy and weird.

Keyser plays her. Plays on her emotions, she should stay away from him they enable each other. I'm not talking behind her back as she knows my thoughts on her relationship with him

I really dislike innuendos and hate it when I have to watch what I'm saying or someone will turn it into something it isn't.

But there are some people who just do innuendos all the time but cannot really get away with it without sounding creepy.  Others don't come across like that.    I feel this is the problem with the Dean V Keyser, JRA etc scenario.

Say what you like about Dean but he does have very good timing and can carry innuendos off,   he is also a very funny guy.    Just another arsehole though, so its all wasted.

There is a lot of truth in the saying "it's not what you say, but how you say it"
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by jp762 on Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:40 pm

Kizzie wrote:
Star wrote:Keyser is ok and quite harmless. Most of his flirty stuff is to wind certain members up. Charlie acts that way, because she has made a
claim for Keyser. Typical jealous girlfriend syndrome.

I don’t mind a little flirtyness, when it’s in fun and banter. But when
it is full on it become creepy and weird.

Keyser plays her. Plays on her emotions, she should stay away from him they enable each other. I'm not talking behind her back as she knows my thoughts on her relationship with him

I really dislike innuendos and hate it when I have to watch what I'm saying or someone will turn it into something it isn't.

But there are some people who just do innuendos all the time but cannot really get away with it without sounding creepy.  Others don't come across like that.    I feel this is the problem with the Dean V Keyser, JRA etc scenario.

Say what you like about Dean but he does have very good timing and can carry innuendos off,   he is also a very funny guy.    Just another arsehole though, so its all wasted.

There is a lot of truth in the saying  "it's not what you say, but how you say it"
Is it not possible that they 'play' each other in that way. I've seen evidence of that. I actually think they need each other, that's how it comes across.

Regardless of timing etc two people saying the exact same kind of things, one gets a laugh and even sucked up too, the other gets the vomit emoji. I don't think that's good if someone feels that way it's better to just completely ignore Keyser's Benny Hill type posts.

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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by NN on Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:56 pm

Kizzie wrote:
Star wrote:Keyser is ok and quite harmless. Most of his flirty stuff is to wind certain members up. Charlie acts that way, because she has made a
claim for Keyser. Typical jealous girlfriend syndrome.

I don’t mind a little flirtyness, when it’s in fun and banter. But when
it is full on it become creepy and weird.

Keyser plays her. Plays on her emotions, she should stay away from him they enable each other. I'm not talking behind her back as she knows my thoughts on her relationship with him

I really dislike innuendos and hate it when I have to watch what I'm saying or someone will turn it into something it isn't.

But there are some people who just do innuendos all the time but cannot really get away with it without sounding creepy.  Others don't come across like that.    I feel this is the problem with the Dean V Keyser, JRA etc scenario.

Say what you like about Dean but he does have very good timing and can carry innuendos off,   he is also a very funny guy.    Just another arsehole though, so its all wasted.

There is a lot of truth in the saying  "it's not what you say, but how you say it"

You ha e pretty much summed up what I was getting at.
I feel really sorry for Charlie. There was a moment when she was emailing stooo (I think) after a particularly bad set of posts on the forum, where I thought she was going to move out from under Keyser shadow.

From what I’ve read about the accounts of experiences with Keys, he can be suffocating when he gets into you inbox. All the accounts of disagreements and failings out he’s been involved in have all said he doesn’t back off when asked too.

I think he’s troubled. I think he drinks and gets carried away and then he goes on a charm offensive on the forums to recover.

He’s a nice man, but destructive I think. And I think Charlie is too nice, and whether he realises it or not, he plays on her issues.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by beckham on Tue Jul 03, 2018 5:11 pm

if it's between two participating adults why not? It can get tedius though.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Wed Jul 04, 2018 3:07 pm

beckham wrote:if it's between two participating adults why not?  It can get tedius though.

I used to hate the Friday night threads on DS.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Aqua on Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:57 pm

Claire wrote:
beckham wrote:if it's between two participating adults why not?  It can get tedius though.

I used to hate the Friday night threads on DS.

They were awful most of them. You have to wonder what went through some of the members minds. Some thread titles used to make me cringe silent

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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Kizzie on Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:39 pm

Aqua wrote:
Claire wrote:
beckham wrote:if it's between two participating adults why not?  It can get tedius though.

I used to hate the Friday night threads on DS.

They were awful most of them. You have to wonder what went through some of the members minds. Some thread titles used to make me cringe silent


I always wished that I could see the ages of posters, as always thought those threads ( and those that loved them) were started by 12 year olds.

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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by jp762 on Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:44 pm

Over recentish times one particular person used to start most of them I can't think of their name right now though.

At times some posts within some of those 'sex threads' could be pretty funny at least for a post or two, then it got stupid again.
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Claire on Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:57 am

Aqua wrote:
Claire wrote:
beckham wrote:if it's between two participating adults why not?  It can get tedius though.

I used to hate the Friday night threads on DS.

They were awful most of them. You have to wonder what went through some of the members minds. Some thread titles used to make me cringe silent

Me too. I also used to hate how the Dtvers like Yeah Jackie etc would polute every thread with their mind blowingly boring "banter".
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Re: Sexual Banter on Forums

Post by Liberty Prime on Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:42 pm

‘Banter’ is often used as a catch all excuse for some truly cringey shit.

Each to their own I usually say but people can’t be surprised that some of the more vom.it inducing stuff gets picked up on or commented on.


Last edited by Liberty Prime on Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:44 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Vomit changed to Vam haha)
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